Transform your child's challenging behaviors for the better. 

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Inner Wisdom Parenting

Parenting is hard. Perfection is impossible. 
And... parenting can be less stressful and more fun.

As parents, we are sometimes confronted with really tough behavior from our kids that leaves us exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed, perplexed and frustrated.

Challenging behaviors can look different for every child, but may include (but, of course, not limited to):

  • Acting out
  • Excessive irritability, and BIG reactions to small things, going from zero to sixty instantly
  • Heightened impulsivity
  • Erratic mood swings and/or problems with mood
  • Defiance and pushback
  • ODD, ADHD diagnoses or tendencies
  • Aggressive behaviors, like hitting, biting, pushing
  • Sass, talking back, not listening, stonewalling
  • Tantrums
  • Crying episodes, meltdowns and hysterics
  • Checked out, numb, withdrawn, unreachable

And as a result of trying to manage this tough behavior, you might feel like you're walking on eggshells.  And your relationship with your partner/spouse/co-parent may be suffering. You might feel anxiety when the phone rings, in case it is another call from school or daycare. You probably feel depleted, stressed and drained, experiencing parental burnout. 

I relate so deeply to all of this because I have been there.

But challenging behavior is just the tip of the iceberg. 

Nearly 90% of the iceberg lays beneath the waterline, out of sight.  And beneath challenging behavior lies the true drivers of behavior, also out of sight, "below the waterline".  

Let's get curious.

What if... behavior was a symptom highlighting a challenge your child is struggling with?

What if... behavior was communication? (Not conscious, thoughtful or even effective communication - but the best your child can do at this time.)

What if... behavior was an adaptive response to something that your child was experiencing?

What if... we get curious about what's beneath the behaviors?

Then....everything changes. 

When you discover what is beneath a child's challenging behaviors, you view their behavior through a new lens.  

And when you do that, you see your child more fully. 



The Beneath the Behaviors Approach is based on the latest developments in neuroscience, positive psychology and the science of connection. 

Inner Wisdom Parenting, founded by Melissa Holland, M.S., is based in Boulder, CO, and offers online classes and coaching to support parents in responding to their child's challenging behaviors, and helping their child become more calm, connected and cooperative

Get started with this free masterclass!
Beneath the Behaviors Approach:
An Introduction with Immediate Benefits

A new lens to view behavior

Discover the philosophy of the "Beneath the Behaviors Approach" in this free, 26 minute masterclass.

You'll never look at your child's challenging behaviors in the same way again... and when you view their behavior differently, everything changes.

For the better. 

Access this free masterclass!

Positive changes to expect from
the Inner Wisdom approach: 

Reduced stress for your child

  • Fewer tantrums
  • Less defiance and talking back
  • Fewer meltdowns


Increased ability for connection

  • More agreeability and ease
  • More calm, joy and peace
  • Better social relationships


Reduced parent  stress

  • More moments of true connection
  • More joy in your relationship
  • Less frustration and anger



Online, on-demand, available immediately, and available for the lifetime of the program. 

Put the Fire Out: Transform Challenging Behaviors

Start here: if the "behavior management" approach worked, it would have worked by now.

Discover a new, body-informed approach, based in neuroscience, to effectively address the root of the behavior.



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Beneath the Behaviors: A Deep Dive

Discover what lies beneath your child's challenging behavior.  Once you know some of the hidden reasons beneath their behavior, only then can you effectively address it.

Learn three frameworks to help identify those hidden stressors, impacting your child's behavior.



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A New View of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and What Really Works

The lens we use to view our child's behavior determines our response; let's explore a new way to view their defiant behavior.

Seeing this as a disorder is helpful but also, hurtful. Ultimately, there is a reason for their behavior; let's find out what that is.


Learn More

Coaching Options:

Managing Meltdowns & Transforming Tantrums: A Parents' Strategy Session


If you're struggling with your child's VERY BIG FEELINGS, help is on the way.

In this 30 minute call, discover the key approach and core tool to help the next time go better. 
Maybe not perfect... but so much better.
  • 30 minutes of focused one-on-one support,
  • centering on your child's meltdowns and tantrums
  • and how to respond differently... and get different results.  
You've got this. And together, we can transform these tantrums - to be less overwhelming and more manageable.  
Book A Strategy Session Now

One-on-One Behavior Consultation


Receive short, focused and customized support, zeroing in on your child's unique behaviors and walk away with a plan:  
  • Includes an extensive, online intake, to gather the key, necessary information before we even start
  • A 75-minute Zoom meeting to explore your child's behavior, answer Qs, and receive a personalized plan of action that will be modified through our conversation, so that you will know exactly what to do, following our conversation
  • The Personalized Plan of Action will also be provided following that meeting, in written form
  • A 30-minute follow up session within four weeks, to reconnect, answer Qs, revise the plan as needed and offer further support 
  • Within the four week window, support is also provided through email contact
  • Includes a Pre-assessment as well as a Post-assessment, to gather information on how effective this was in transforming challenging behaviors
  • Includes four weeks access (28 days) to the Inner Wisdom Parenting Online Community. You will have the option to continue with the IWP Online Community for a small monthly fee, after those four weeks, if you wish. 
Purchase Now

Transform Challenging Behaviors: The New Roadmap to Parenting Today Mentorship Program


**$450 Founder's Circle pricing until Sept 1, 2023

Transform your child's challenging behaviors and experience a parenting journey that is less stress, less defiance and more connection, joy and ease.
The New Roadmap to Parenting Today is a semi-guided learning journey, to a whole new path of parenting. 

Go through the core material, including on-demand videos, handouts and assessments, at your own pace, accessible 24/7, for the life of the program.
The three video courses include:
  • Put the Fire Out: Transforming Challenging Behaviors - reframe behavior, discover the role of the body, in particular the Autonomic Nervous System, in behavior
  • Beneath the Behaviors: A Deep Dive - discover a new understanding of stressors that are impacting your child's behavior and how to identify them
  • Calm the Challenging Child: the Path to Self-Regulation - develop a clear understanding of what self-regulation is, and how to support your child in developing this essential life skill, that is necessary to exhibit self-control 
As well as two short Masterclasses:
  • The New Lens of Discipline
  • A New View of Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD) and What Really Works
This program also includes ongoing, accessible support for four months, including: 
  • live office hours (both drop-in and scheduled in 20 minute sessions),
  • live trainings and workshops on special topics and Q&As (with an option to watch any replays),
  • ongoing contact with Melissa (within the online community, live Q & As, email and office hours),
  • and a helpful community forum, for connection and support for four months. (And for $15 a month, you are welcome to continue your participation in this online community, after the program ends.)

Learn more.

Enroll in this Program Now!

One-on-One Four Months Transforming Behavior Coaching Package


Limited Availability - to Four Families

  • A three hour "Deep Dive Intensive" one-on-one with Melissa, at the start, to kick off the behavior transformation and lower your stress immediately
  • Extensive online intake process before we even start (for thorough information gathering to support our work!)
  • Nine individual, private strategy sessions 50 minutes each via Zoom, over the four months
  • Includes access to online courses, available immediately, 24/7, for the lifetime of the program:  "Put the Fire Out: Transforming Challenging Behaviors";   "Beneath the Behaviors: A Deep Dive" and "Calm the Challenging Child: the Path to Self-Regulation", as well as these bonus Masterclasses:  "A New View of Oppositional Defiant Disorder" and "A New Lens of Discipline: Connection over Compliance"
  • Online, lifetime access to a library of videos, PDFs, and resources to support your learning journey
  • A thoughtful, personalized plan to effectively address your child's challenging behaviors
  • Ongoing email support, and contact between sessions
  • Four month access to the Inner Wisdom Parenting Online Community, for access to live Q&As, replays, drop-in and scheduled office hours and personalized support
  • Online Pre-Assessment and Post-Assessment to provide essential data-driven feedback, to see that it is working!
  • Providing a safe space for you, that is without judgment, with support and empathy

    Schedule a free 30 minute conversation to see if this is right for you

    Payment Plan available: $550 per month for first three months. 

Purchase Now

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About Melissa

Before becoming parents, we imagine the little one holding our hand, toddling along, playing games, and sharing stories.  And then, we, it can be SO HARD sometimes. I feel you.

What do we do when our child's behavior is off the rails, inexplicable, challenging and sometimes exhausting?

I want to put your mind at ease. Transformation is possible. As a mama, I had to learn the secrets of self-regulation for my son (and myself!), which has truly changed our experience for the better.

And I can teach you too. 

Read more