Transform your child's challenging behaviors for the better. 

Every parent starts their parenting journey with a dream. We are here to make sure you enjoy yours again.

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Inner Wisdom Parenting

Parenting is hard. Perfection is impossible. 
And... parenting can be less stressful and more fun.

As parents, we are sometimes confronted with really tough behavior from our kids that leaves us exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed, perplexed and frustrated.

Challenging behaviors can look different for every child, but may include (but, of course, not limited to):

  • Acting out
  • Excessive irritability, and BIG reactions to small things, going from zero to sixty instantly
  • Heightened impulsivity
  • Erratic mood swings and/or problems with mood
  • Defiance and pushback
  • ODD, ADHD diagnoses or tendencies
  • Aggressive behaviors, like hitting, biting, pushing
  • Sass, talking back, not listening, stonewalling
  • Tantrums
  • Crying episodes, meltdowns and hysterics
  • Checked out, numb, withdrawn, unreachable

And as a result of trying to manage this tough behavior, you might feel like you're walking on eggshells.  And your relationship with your partner/spouse/co-parent may be suffering. You might feel anxiety when the phone rings, in case it is another call from school or daycare. You probably feel depleted, stressed and drained, experiencing parental burnout. 

I relate so deeply to all of this because I have been there.

But challenging behavior is just the tip of the iceberg. 

Nearly 90% of the iceberg lays beneath the waterline, out of sight.  And beneath challenging behavior lies the true drivers of behavior, also out of sight, "below the waterline".  

Let's get curious.

What if... behavior was a symptom highlighting a challenge your child is struggling with?

What if... behavior was communication? (Not conscious, thoughtful or even effective communication - but the best your child can do at this time.)

What if... behavior was an adaptive response to something that your child was experiencing?

What if... we get curious about what's beneath the behaviors?

Then....everything changes. 

When you discover what is beneath a child's challenging behaviors, you view their behavior through a new lens.  

And when you do that, you see your child more fully. 



The Beneath the Behaviors Approach is based on the latest developments in neuroscience, positive psychology and the science of connection. 

Inner Wisdom Parenting, LLC, founded by Melissa Holland, M.S., is based in Boulder, CO, and offers online classes and coaching to support parents in responding to their child's challenging behaviors, and helping their child become more calm, connected and cooperative

Get started with this free webinar!
Beneath the Behaviors Approach:
An Introduction with Immediate Benefits

A new lens to view behavior

Discover the philosophy of the "Beneath the Behaviors Approach" in this free, 26 minute webinar.

You'll never look at your child's challenging behaviors in the same way again... and when you view their behavior differently, everything changes.

For the better. 

Access this free webinar!

Positive changes to expect from
the Inner Wisdom approach: 

Reduced stress for your child

  • Fewer tantrums
  • Less defiance and talking back
  • Fewer meltdowns


Increased ability for connection

  • More agreeability and ease
  • More calm, joy and peace
  • Better social relationships


Reduced parent stress

  • More moments of true connection
  • More joy in your relationship
  • Less frustration and anger


Support for You

You have the innate wisdom about your child, since you know your child the best. 

Together, we will collaborate, combining your intuition and experience of your child with my expertise in emotional and self-regulation, to determine the underlying causes that are attributing to the challenging behavior.

We will create a manageable plan, tailored specifically to your child, to transform their behavior for the better. 

And you will be supported and hopeful about the positive transformation that is possible. 

And it is possible.


Beneath the Behavior Bootcamp

coming soon

  • An engaging online course, available 24/7, for the life of the program
  • Includes short videos, handouts, a Guide and resources
  • Learn about the body's stress response and its impact on behavior (yours and your child's!)
  • Uncover the underlying reasons for your child's challenging behaviors
  • Learn how to discern misbehavior from stress behavior 
  • Explore the "Vulnerable Nervous System" and why some kids are more susceptible to stress

Learn more. 

One-on-One Consultation


  • Extensive intake process
  • One-on-One 75-minute Zoom call, for creating a plan, strategy, and offering feedback and support
  • Email follow-up for questions and support
  • One-on-One 30-minute Zoom call for follow-up to respond to any further concerns
  • A written plan for future reference and support 



Purchase now.

Additional payment plan is available.


One-on-One Personalized Coaching


  • Extensive intake process
  • Individual, private strategy sessions 50 minutes each via Zoom
  • A thoughtful strategy to effectively address your child's challenging behaviors
  • Ongoing email support
  • Additional resources provided
  • Providing a safe space for you, that is without judgment, with support and empathy

Contact me for a free, initial exploratory conversation.


Support for YOU!

These courses and services will be available soon! Please complete the form below, if you would like to be notified when they are available!

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About Melissa

Before becoming parents, we imagine the little one holding our hand, toddling along, playing games, and sharing stories.  And then, we, it can be SO HARD sometimes. I feel you.

What do we do when our child's behavior is off the rails, inexplicable, challenging and sometimes exhausting?

I want to put your mind at ease. Transformation is possible. As a mama, I had to learn the secrets of self-regulation for my son (and myself!), which has truly changed our experience for the better.

And I can teach you too. 

Read more