Become an expert in your child's behaviors
Stop playing behavior whack-a-mole with your child’s most baffling behaviors by finally addressing the root causes of the behavior! All behavior makes sense... once we understand "why".
This 10-week live, online (via Zoom) comprehensive course will teach you what behavior really is, and how to effectively transform it. And with this course, you will decrease the stress you feel and increase the joy and connection... and learn to enjoy parenting again!
When we use the "Body-Informed Approach" and get curious about what is beneath the behaviors, we get to the root, foundational causes of the behavior. Then we can effectively address the behavior!
Calm the Challenging Child: The Parent Course is led by Parent Coach and Self-Regulation Specialist, Melissa Holland, M.S., Founder of Inner Wisdom Parenting.
Does Your Child Struggle With...
- Hitting and aggressive behavior?
- Depression, anxiety, very negative thoughts toward self?
- Defiant and/or oppositional behavior, talking back when told to do something or not do something?
- Having frequent and/or, long-lasting tantrums or meltdowns?
- HUGE reactions to small things?
You are not alone!
This course is your guide to the "road less traveled" in parenting. If the general approach to parenting, the behavior management approach, worked - it would have worked by now. It's not you.
Your child's behavior is due to excessive stress and a vulnerable nervous system. And there is not a technique in the world that offers either negative consequences or positive incentives that will change that.
In this new path to parenting, we go beneath the behaviors; we get curious about why - why is your child behaving this way?
This is a no-shame, no blame approach to parenting; instead, we discover the beautiful (and humble) art of being human, with the autonomic nervous system, that lies completely below conscious awareness, and is actually running the show (for our kids, and ourselves).
Who Is This For?
This game-changing course will benefit ALL parents but is especially offered for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems and baffling behaviors.
This includes (but is not limited to):
- children with a history of trauma and toxic stress (including foster care and adoption)
- children who are neurodivergent, (including children with brain-wiring differences due to autism, ADHD, giftedness, sensory processing, or neuroimmune disorders)
- children with emotional and behavioral regulation challenges that manifest in difficulties at home and/or at school
- children who exhibit the following behaviors including hitting, verbal aggression, tantrums, avoidance, shutdown, withdrawal, defiance, difficulty with transitions, anxiety, negative thoughts towards self, perfectionism,
- and difficulty connecting with peers and/or adults in their daily life
Three Core Tenets
To transform children's behavior, we start by reframing behavior. This is the essential shift, from what we call the "Behavior Management Approach", to the more effective, up-to-date, research-backed "Body-Informed Approach TM".
This simply means we learn a bit about the child's brain, body, Autonomic Nervous System and more, and discover how all of that - all below the surface and below conscious awareness - is really driving behavior.
Behavior is just a clue. It's merely a symptom to let us know that this child is experiencing excessive stress. So we start to shift our approach away from managing the behavior, to getting curious about what is beneath the behavior.
This is how we get to the root of the problem.
We all need connection to survive. It is a "biological imperative", hard-wired into us. As helpless infants, the only way we survive is through connection to our caregivers.
If your child is behaving in way that makes you not want to be connected with them, we can get curious and ask ourselves "why?". There is a good reason.
Focus on Felt-Safety
Felt-safety is not actual, rational safety - though, this is absolutely essential. This is below-conscious awareness. There are very valid reasons a child's brain, below conscious awareness, interprets cues in their environment, body and relationships as cues of threat, even when they are not. A child experiencing felt-safety behaves well.
About the Course:
WHAT is happening!? We might want to believe that our child is behaving in these challenging ways on purpose.
But nothing is further from the truth.
So we start here - with a basic understanding of how the human brain, body, nervous system really work, and respond to stress, and how this drives behavior.
By learning the the science of being relationally, socially, and behaviorally human, this section will demystify the most baffling behaviors.
If we don't know what's beneath the behavior, we won't be able to effectively address it.
We will walk through a research-backed, thoughtful and thorough process to discover many of the potential stressors impacting your child's behavior.
Once we have a clear idea of what these stressors are, then we can create a plan to reduce or eliminate those we can, while increasing connection and resilience, resulting in a positive impact on their behavior.
Your parenting toolbox will be filled with brain, body and sensory strategies that actually work.
These techniques will strengthen your child's vulnerable nervous system and reduce those challenging behaviors.
By the end of this section, you'll learn what interventions to use when (and when not to use!).
And perhaps MOST importantly, you will discover ways you can keep yourself grounded and regulated, so that whether or not your child's behavior changes for the better, you will still experience less stress and more joy.
All the "DEETS"
This is a 10-session course offered this Spring 2024 virtually through Zoom, on Tuesdays, 11:30a.m. - 12:30 p.m. MST.
The dates are March 5, 2024 - May 7, 2024.
This is a hybrid course, with both online content, with short videos released each week as well as the online, live, weekly Zoom meeting.
An online course platform you'll have access to, which will include 2 - 3 short videos to watch each week, before our live meeting. This way, we can focus our conversation on deepening our understanding, and connecting it to our own unique situation. This means our live, in-person, online meetings are part support group, part coaching and part fun! And you are welcome to participate in the conversation as little or as much as you want. You will have continued access to the online portal and videos after the course ends.
- Access to an online community, within the Course, so you can post comments, questions and support one another, as well as feel supported! But it will be a small community, and not overwhelming.
- A Workbook & Guide (PDF) is included; this provides a guide for you, for self-reflection through the course, as well as some key information, as "cheat sheets", to support your learning. You are welcome to have this printed, but know that printing it is not necessary. You may also choose to use a blank journal, and use the workbook online as a guide.
Space is limited.
The investment is $585 before Tuesday, February 27, 2024 at midnight.
After Feb. 27th, if there is space available, the investment is $635.
- You can add an additional parent/co-parent as well, for an additional $245.
- You may wish to add an optional one-on-one 30 minute session with the Facilitator, Parent Coach and Self-Regulation Specialist, Melissa, to explore this new approach and your specific child/situation for an additional $25.
- If you would like to join the course, but would prefer a payment plan, you are welcomed to make two payments, over two months. Before Feb. 27th, each monthly payment would be $310. After Feb 27th, each monthly payment would be $335. Click here to checkout with the two-payment, over two months option.
This course is right for you if you are…
- Ready to move past behavior intervention techniques
- Longing to find a way to see your child’s true self….even if they never show it to you
- Willing to do the hard work of looking inward to move onward
- Curious about why your child is behaving the way they are and open to learning
This course might not be the best fit for you if you are...
- Looking for the right behavior intervention to change your child’s behaviors
- Most comfortable with consequence-based parenting interventions
- Not interested in considering and addressing the underlying cause of difficult behaviors
- Parenting a child with chronically dangerous behaviors (violence, aggression, substance abuse, sexually acting out, self-injury, etc.)
What if I can't make a session or two?
What is your refund policy?
Is this course only for parents with young kids?
Melissa Holland is the founder of “Inner Wisdom Parenting”. She supports parents in addressing their children’s challenging behaviors, with online courses, workshops, coaching and consulting in the essential areas of emotional and self-regulation, self-compassion and mindfulness. She is an experienced coach and teacher, previously in the areas of positive psychology, career and life transitions.
She lives with her boys in Boulder: the big one (husband), the little one (son) and the fuzzy one (Rocket, the Cat). When she’s not creating courses or supporting parents, she’s reading, learning, drinking coffee, feigning interest in Minecraft and Star Wars, reading about trail running (not actually running – yet) and hanging out with her favorite boys. Her motto to live by – lately – has been “hold it lightly”. She’s still learning how.