Become an expert
in your child's behaviors

Stop playing behavior whack-a-mole with your child’s most baffling behaviors by finally addressing the core reasons for the behavior!
This 10-week live, online (via Zoom) comprehensive course will teach you what behavior really is, and how to effectively transform it. 
When we use the "Beneath the Behaviors Approach, we get to the root, foundational causes of the behavior. We discover that these are valid, understandable reasons, because all behavior makes sense.  

Transform Challenging Behavior (TCB): The Parent Course is led by Parent Coach and Self-Regulation Specialist, Melissa Holland, M.S., Founder of Inner Wisdom Parenting. 

Does Your Child Struggle With...

  • Hitting and aggressive behavior? 
  • Depression, anxiety, very negative thoughts toward self?
  • Defiant and/or oppositional behavior, talking back when told to do something or not do something?
  • Having frequent and/or, long-lasting tantrums or meltdowns?
  • HUGE reactions to small things?

You are not alone!

This course is your guide to the "road less traveled" in parenting. If the general approach to parenting, the behavior management approach, worked - it would have worked by now. It's not you.

Your child's behavior is due to excessive stress and a vulnerable nervous system. And there is not a technique in the world that offers either negative consequences or positive incentives that will change that.

In this new path to parenting, we go beneath the behaviors; we get curious about why - why is your child behaving this way?

This is a no-shame, no blame approach to parenting; instead, we discover the beautiful (and humble) art of being human, with the autonomic nervous system, that lies completely below conscious awareness, and is actually running the show (for our kids, and ourselves).


Who Is This For?

This game-changing course will benefit ALL parents but is especially offered for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems and baffling behaviors.

This includes (but is not limited to):

  • children with a history of trauma and toxic stress (including foster care and adoption)
  • children who are neurodivergent, (including children with brain-wiring differences due to autism, ADHD, giftedness, sensory processing, or neuroimmune disorders)
  • children with emotional and behavioral regulation challenges that manifest in difficulties at home and/or at school
  • children who exhibit the following behaviors including hitting, verbal aggression, tantrums, avoidance, shutdown, withdrawal, defiance, difficulty with transitions, anxiety, negative thoughts towards self, perfectionism,
  • and difficulty connecting with peers and/or adults in their daily life

Three Core Tenets

To transform children's behavior, we will look for ways to increase regulation, connection and felt-safety.


Behavior is just a clue. It's what we see on the outside that gives us information about what is happening on the inside. 


We all need connection to survive. If you child is behaving in way that makes you not want to be connected with them, we can get curious and ask ourselves "why?".


Regulated, connected kids who feel safe, behave well.

About the Course:

Section 1:

The "Why"

In this section, we will discover how to become the expert in your child’s behaviors.

Why is your child behaving this way? Why now? Why is it so important to be relentlessly curious about what is happening beneath the surface of your child's most challenging behaviors?

By learning the the science of being relationally, socially, and behaviorally human, this section will demystify the most baffling behaviors.

You’ll reframe how you see and make sense of your child’s behavior.

Exciting News: That change will become the most powerful tool in your parenting toolbox.

Section 2:
The "What"

In this section, we will focus on how to become a "stress detective". We will discover what is beneath the behavior

This section is where we introduce the idea of your child's "Stress Bucket". Small stressors, big stressors, one-time stressors, trauma, small ongoing chronic stressors, hidden stressors... these all fill our child's Stress Bucket. When it is full, overflowing, that is when we see challenging behaviors. 

So, if we can identify some of these stressors, then we can start to brainstorm what stressors we might be able to eliminate for our child, or reduce. 


Section 3:
The "What Next"

In this section, we'll explore why this "knowledge" is only half the battle... 

The best part of this entire approach is this: even IF you can't transform your child's behavior in any way, YOU will be transformed.

This section covers how we are changed through this approach; we develop more resilience, more patience and greater capacity for finding joy in our parenting experience.

You will develop a greater tolerance for those challenging behaviors and therefore, will parent less by reaction and more by design - the way you want to.

And we are 99% certain that this approach will have a positive effect on those challenging behaviors as well!

All the "DEETS"

This is a 10-session course offered this Fall (2023) virtually through Zoom, on Tuesdays, 11:30a.m. - 1:00 p.m. MST.

The dates are Tuesday, October 3, 2023 - December 12, 2023.

There will be no class on November 21st (the week of Thanksgiving).  

Also Included:

  • Since there will be no class on November 21st (the week of Thanksgiving) or Tuesday, December 19th (after the last session and the week before Christmas and Kwanzaa), there are two additional, optional "drop in" classes on these dates, for Q & A, informal conversation, coaching and connecting, if you can make it.

  • Access to an online community is included for the length of the course; inside this community, you can ask questions, support one another, and access replays of the classes you may need to miss. (Note that only part of each class will be recorded; we will not record the Q and A, and group discussion, only the short lecture part, to support everyone's privacy and felt-safety.)

  • A 90-page Workbook (PDF) is included; you are welcome to have this printed, but know that printing it is not necessary. You may also choose to use a blank journal, and use the workbook online as a guide.


The cost is $450 before Saturday, September 30, 2023 at 12 midnight. After that, if there is space available, the cost is $490.

You may wish to add a one-on-one 30 minute session with the Facilitator, Parent Coach and Self-Regulation Specialist, Melissa, to explore this new approach and your specific child and situation for an additional $25.


*Registration is now closed for this course. If you are interested in learning about this course offerings this spring, please complete the form below.*

Sign up for the waitlist for Spring 2024. :) 

And you will be the first to know when this course is offered again!

This course is right for you if you are…

  • Ready to move past behavior intervention techniques
  • Longing to find a way to see your child’s true self….even if they never show it to you
  • Willing to do the hard work of looking inward to move onward
  • Curious about why your child is behaving the way they are and open to learning

This course might not be the best fit for you if you are...

  • Looking for the right behavior intervention to change your child’s behaviors
  • Most comfortable with consequence-based parenting interventions
  • Not interested in considering and addressing the underlying cause of difficult behaviors
  • Parenting a child with chronically dangerous behaviors (violence, aggression, substance abuse, sexually acting out, self-injury, etc.)

Not sure?

Feel free to book a free 30 minute Clarity Call, so we can explore what's going on for you and how this course might help.

Book a Free Clarity Call

Meet Melissa

Melissa Holland is the founder of “Inner Wisdom Parenting”.  She supports parents in addressing their children’s challenging behaviors, with online courses, workshops, coaching and consulting in the essential areas of emotional and self-regulation, self-compassion and mindfulness.  She is an experienced coach and teacher, previously in the areas of positive psychology, career and life transitions.

She lives with her boys in Boulder: the big one (husband), the little one (son) and the fuzzy one (Rocket, the Cat). When she’s not creating courses or supporting parents, she’s reading, learning, drinking coffee, feigning interest in Minecraft and Star Wars, reading about trail running (not actually running – yet) and hanging out with her favorite boys. Her motto to live by – lately – has been “hold it lightly”.  She’s still learning how.